Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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