You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
