he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
