I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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