This is not my ceiling
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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