how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
