i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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