First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
