He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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