Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
