girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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