Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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