Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
