Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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