Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
