1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
