my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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