Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later