Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me