His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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