and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
