Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
