I smell stomach acid.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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