Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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