Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize
