Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
