The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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