the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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