I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Mom said you looked used
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
