You can't special order awesome
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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