That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize