He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
