The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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