even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
