im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize