Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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