cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
