Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
