Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
