Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
