she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
