ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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