So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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