She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
