I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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