Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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