somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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