She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
