I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize