But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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