i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
