This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
