I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
