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• (248): View more from Michigan

  well I can't set my house on fire every night

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already

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• (760): View more from California

  If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy

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• (408): View more from California

  So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.

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