I'm really into asian looking animals
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.