Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.