i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
