tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
