remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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