I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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