Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he was CRYING into my vagina
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
