I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
